Thursday, January 3, 2008

BEST OF: Scrambled dregs for a new year

The original version of this column ran March 4, 2004, in The Cambrian.

Baryshnikov does Verizon:

It could be a new Olympic sport, but too many people are good at it. It's not particularly graceful … but then, neither is wrestling or shot-put. And this posture is just as identifiable as those struck by a golfer at the tee, a figure skater preparing for a triple axel or a diver bouncing on the end of the board.

The modern version is what I call feng shui of the body, because everything has to be arranged just so, aligned with mystical broadcast waves, the wind and the pull of the moon.

Envision rigid shoulders, clenched fist, tilted head and distracted expression of someone standing in the middle of a busy street, and you'll be seeing a cell-phone user trying to complete a call in Cambria.

"Can you hear me now?" Probably not.

The posture mimics frozen poses of yore. Remember holding a rabbit-ears TV antenna out the window so somebody else could watch a show? Or trying to hail a taxi while out in the rain, without looking like a drowning Pomeranian?

There are few areas of Camabria where you can actually walk and cell-talk at the same time. At my house, a cell phone will ring only when it’s on the charger, but the call won’t stay connected if I unplug the phone.

Yes, technology has a long way to go here. And the debate continues about whether to allow disguised cell-phone towers on the protected land of Fiscalini Ranch Preserve.

In the meantime, here's a fund-raising idea for Caltrans, county Public Works or even the Cambria Community Services District: Find the 10 places in downtown Cambria where most cell-phone systems work, and put up street signs identifying same.

Then charge 50 cents a minute to park nearby.

My “to don't” list:

What a mess: Bills, letters, cryptic notes I can no longer decipher, messages, catalogs I'll never peruse, grocery, shopping and chore lists, magazines I'll never read, newspapers, things I've printed out but haven't tossed out and ticket stubs from a 2002 vacation.

The towering stacks of paper form a veritable monument to fallen trees, a wobbly edifice that threatens to take over our world.

The paperwork congregates on counters and tables, our desks, my files (if they get that far!) and a footstool between our easy chairs. Then the papers go forth and multiply, like field mice, wire hangers and unmated socks.

Eventually, most Tanner paperwork winds up in baskets. For an ambitious piece of paper, being sentenced to “the basket” is a fate worse than last year's file-storage boxes.

Paper-Amnesty International has a special strike team for Tanner baskets.

We’ll just muddle along in our documentary chaos, and then we'll get word that company's coming to visit. Awk! Panic!

There are two possible courses of action: sort through the papers and clean the baskets, counters, chairs, etc., or pile everything in a bigger basket that can then be hidden in a closet.

If I did the latter, Fire Chief Bob Putney would start issuing mandatory demolition orders.

So, I recently began to dig through the stacks, resulting in an image not unlike a chunky dachshund digging in a badger hole.

Now we have a new unwritten Tanner law: never, ever keep "to do" lists.

It’s plumb discouraging to find a year-old record and realize how little of it I’ve accomplished during the past 12 months.

Worse yet is realizing how many things I did do that now have to be done again.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

KdittoTweet spanNFL Power Rankings #5: San Francisco 49ers Resume: 521-420-15 ( There are now 4 different maps with different planes including the normal airport[url=http://www.BrandonMarshallJersey.net]Brandon Marshall Womens Jersey[/url]
aircraft carrier and more This tool will enable you to update pages[url=http://www.JasonPierrePaulJersey.net]Jason Pierre Paul Authentic Jersey[/url]
users[url=http://www.BrianUrlacherJersey.net]Brian Urlacher Authentic Jersey[/url]
pictures and menus and much more" Can be identified in the hands of Jiu Jiadian renewal[url=http://www.TrentRichardsonJersey.com]Trent Richardson Authentic Jersey[/url]
the public can contact the successful recovery of business[url=http://www.AndreJohnsonJerseys.net]www.AndreJohnsonJerseys.net[/url]
"company responsible for recycling collection services Jiujia Dian[url=http://www.BrianUrlacherJersey.net]Brian Urlacher Authentic Jersey[/url]
recycling recycling credentials when opening hours together holding[url=http://www.JaredAllenJersey.net]Jared Allen Womens Jersey[/url]
record Jiujia Dian brand[url=http://www.CalvinJohnsonJersey.net]Calvin Johnson Authentic Jersey[/url]
model and other related information[url=http://www.TorreySmithJersey.net]Torrey Smith Jersey[/url]
and then put under the guidance of the local cash price
Not only did the X-2 push the envelope of manned flight to speeds[url=http://www.AndreJohnsonJerseys.net]www.AndreJohnsonJerseys.net[/url]
altitudes and temperatures beyond any other aircraft at the time[url=http://www.ArianFosterJerseys.net]Arian Foster Jersey[/url]
it pioneered throttleable rocket motors and digital flight simulation So if you all ready to make business promotion with a bang[url=http://www.ArianFosterJerseys.net]Arian Foster Authentic Jersey[/url]
use the promotional pencils as an important accessory and then feel the differenceThis is not what you want to happen to your own business[url=http://www.JasonPierrePaulJersey.net]Jason Pierre Paul Jersey[/url]
right You want to achieve your targets not only for a specific period of time but for a lifetime So it goes without saying that a grill is a necessityk However[url=http://www.JasonWittenJersey.com]Jason Witten Authentic Jersey[/url]
I guarantee you that your documents will look better if you put the stapler away and professionally bind your reports[url=http://www.BrettKeiselJersey.net]Brett Keisel Womens Jersey[/url]
presentations and proposals For those that find the emotions of this game compelling[url=http://www.TorreySmithJersey.net]Torrey Smith Jersey[/url]
and who decide to play on more than just a recreational level[url=http://www.cheapjerseyslimited.com]cheap jerseys[/url]
a personal pool stick is a must

Anonymous said...

[url=http://saclongchampa.tripod.com/]sacs longchamp pas cher[/url] Hill's handbag collection for Mulberry is well matched with your ex apparel design, because they are inspired with the same theme and color. The standout hallmark Top Fashion Mulberry Aston Natural Leather Messenger Bag Brown for Men,Cheap Mulberry Bags On Sale, Mulberry Bags Outlet, fast delivery. of Hill's handbag design is functionality. It is possible to look for a light-weighted bag with detachable shoulder strap or functional interior small pockets.
[url=http://www.freewebsite-service.com/longchampbagsd/Blog.php]longchamp soldes[/url] Prepare your space and organizers. Clean out some space in your closet for the shoes. You can also use a shoe rack for this. If you or someone in your Authentic designer handbags and wallets from Highly Appreciated Mulberry Women's Smaller Bayswater Printed Leather Shoulder Light Coffee Bag. family is claustrophobic, do not choose an inside cabin, as they are small with no windows. Try a cabin with a porthole. Balcony cabins are also a good alternative as they are usually bigger.
[url=http://longchampmoinse.blog4u.pl/]longchamp soldes[/url] Where To Buy High Quality Cheap Handbags?If you want a buyer for your current home then an open ended loan is good for you. If you have decided on buying and selling of your property already then a closed ended loan is best for you. To make sure you are safe and fully prepared for your next camping trip, you need to prepare ahead and make sure that the equipment you Fabulous Mulberry Women's Standard Bayswater Leather Shoulder Black Bag online supply Save 50% and free shipping anywhere are bringing and your past experiences adequately prepare you for your next outdoor adventure. You'll find so many internet based custom made rucksack shops furnishing fine quality bags around adjusted price; howevere, if it's not necessary knowledge in purchasing many of these cool items, picking them all is completely troublesome for you that you are probably not excited to separate the entire mock designs and therefore the authentic the. And so, purchasing the entire purses and handbags using a most respected shop is essential. Credit card is going to be of great help with another woman through this technique..

Anonymous said...

I have passed something?
Something any more on that theme has incurred me.
Certainly. All above told the truth.
I understand this question. It is possible to discuss.
Also that we would do without your very good phrase

[url=http://www.homebasedbusinessprogram.com/profiles/blogs/historic-handbag-trivia][b]michael kors outlet online[/b][/url]
[url=http://shenenmaoyiyy.tumblr.com/][b]michael kors outlet online[/b][/url]
[url=http://www.squidoo.com/cheapmichaelkors22][b]michael kors outlet online[/b][/url]
[url=http://www.purevolume.com/listeners/cheapoutletbag291832/posts/333576/Designer+Replica+Handbags+-+An+Elegant+Gift+For+Every+Woman][b]michael kors outlet online[/b][/url]
[url=http://shenenmaoyipp.esporteblog.com.br/][b]michael kors outlet online[/b][/url]

Unknown said...

Dancers have such a short career after so much sacrafice.

my tax lawyer video
Tax Attorney